OH
MY
FUCKING
GOD

I AM NOT BAD AT PONG

YOU CANNOT EXCUSE EVERY SINGLE TIME THAT I BEAT SOMEONE AS "OH WELL HE/SHE WAS REALLY DRUNK" IF IT HAPPENS CONSISTENTLY

THIS IS SUCH A SMALL THING BUT IT MAKES ME SO FUCKING ANGRY

I HATE YOU SOMETIMES

and no, I never actually mixed you up with her BECAUSE YOU DO NOT LOOK THE SAME.

AT ALL.

breaking a streak of consistent gravity

planetary exit in progress

*lame joke about mass and gravitational pull*

once more into the breach

bouncy

you tell your boyfriend if he says he's got beef
that i'm a vegetarian and i ain't fucking scared of him

he perdido mi mente.

necessita un cortado.

Love Ally

Ally
ally v. to form or enter in to an alliance

fml

People who don't want kids should not have them.





Stay tuned for our shocking expose on water being wet.

Mass Hysteria

Michelle Obama wears a dress when visiting the UN that she has worn before EVERYBODY PANIC

SDL

i am a sigma delta lady

and there is nothing you can fucking do about it

PSA

Do not read Stuff White People Like on your iPhone during class


Note: if you are talking to a white person who is really into Bob Marley, has dreadlocks, and professes to be a Rastafarian, you should end the conversation immediately. These people are of no value unless you need directions to a WTO protest or have questions about how bad a human can smell.

You could snort really loudly and have everyone look at you.

FML

Today I told J. L. that I had a really unlegit job with an important sounding title.

She said that "sounded important."

She is the only person in the entire world I have ever actually wanted to impress but that is so not impressive.

I wanted to smack her for not knowing the difference.

FML.