AA

I sort of wish I was still in sixth grade, when Sophie decided she was dating Sean and they "went out" by talking on AIM and the rest of us were sort of jealous but also unanimously agreed that boys were gross.

Because it's a little more than ridiculous to be watching two of your friends playing pong and then realizing that yes, one day, they could get married and it would really not be a bad thing.

I do really wish that I could capture the way her eyes and her voice change when her phone rings and answers and it's him. I would say something about "lighting up" but that's stupid and overused and cheesy and it isn't that simple at all.

/It must be something real if cynical bitches like me take notice.

NERDAGE

Happy Square Root Day!

People irking me at the moment:

Rush Limbaugh
My current best friend

Yup.

wierd

you're

clickly

Oh yes, I keep track.

You stupid fucking whores. So the new president is a minority. Great. He's also pretty fucking kickass, but no. You, not I, care about his race. And now that this is on the table YOU ARE NOT EVEN THE SAME RACE AS HIM. So he's a "fellow minority." Oh that's a GREAAAAAAT line of thought. "Us" versus "them." That's worked so well in the past.

I realize that I cannot understand, nay, that I am not allowed to understand, but this is how you look to me.

I hate that you have sweatshirts. Can't we just all be people?

but then what would you bitch about

My Spanish professor is the version of Paquita that has a Ph.D. from Columbia.

Yes, apparently that's possible.

Overheard

"Stressing out is so unhealthy.. people need to get over being control freaks. NATURE CANNOT BE TAMED."

/cosign

fuck mcnutt

is there a female here WITHOUT food issues?

no?

just checking.

Announcement

"INTELLECTUAL REWARDS

The paper can be an extremely rewarding intellectual experience. You learn how to come up to speed on a complex subject quickly, conduct research in a real-time intelligence-style operational environment, adjudicate conflicting claims and theories, assess patterns of evidence, and render informed policy judgments and recommendations. All of these skills are very useful, and they are portable to other areas."

If you include this in the description of the horrific paper you have just assigned, it becomes legal for your students to kill you.

This is logic on my planet

Oho. So I found out that you PREDICTED I would quit. Ohhhhh really. Guess what? YOU'RE STUCK WITH ME. FOREVER.

You are probably smarter and saner, but I am more stubborn.

It doesn't seem to have gotten away from you. Yet.

You are everything I am not. You paint your nails. You own pearls. You wear argyle non-ironically.

You study.

But we both know (pepperidgefarmwhitesandwichbreadequals65times2equals130)plus(3ozbakedturkey
equals125)equals255

Please. Please be careful.

Lord knows I am not.

/thereisnoneedforcalculationwhenyoucanresetitbacktozero

I am never getting hired by anyone

Still full of inside jokes, but hopefully sounds less like a 13-year-old girl's Xanga than this thing does.

How the fuck do I get into these situations?

I really need to quit my stupid, unpaid job.

But I need to talk to someone about it first.

My friend, the person I would go to to talk to about something like this, is my boss at the job.

fmylife

Dear the Women and Gender Studies Department,

I wrote that as a joke.

Please don't give me an A.

It hurts me.

Thanks for the GPA boost,
Me

Google StreetView

just freaked me THE FUCK out.

Quería un bocadillo de tortilla de calabacín para llevar por favor.

*snort*

Imagine you own a theme park. It's a very successful (albeit a tad tacky) park. It happens to contain Superman: Ride of Steel, which is the greatest roller coaster IN THE HISTORY OF TIME, and has won the Golden Ticket Awards (the Oscars of the Amusement Park Industry) for the last three years running.

What do you do with your lovely award-winning much-adored coaster?

Apparently YOU FUCK WITH IT.

Superman is NOT PURPLE. New trains CHANGE THE RIDE. And if you enclose the lift hill and add *fire oooh shiny stuff* I will personally hate you for the rest of my life.
DO NOT FUCK WITH MY COASTER.

Is this real life?

Mis mejores poemes

My best poems
Were only read by one person
They are some silly cards
With much love inside
Spelling errors
And hints of longing

My best poems
Are not such, they are letters
That I write because this,
This I cannot speak
Because always he is far
Like everything good
Like everything that we value
Like god

Like the sea
I am from Casitilla and I have
A thistle for a soul
But I want to have an olive in my voice
I am from dry Castilla
I am Spanish earth
But I want to have my love in my love
It is almost funny to say this, LOVE, at this late time
LOVE in this era of companies and committees,
But I say LOVE LOVE I know what I say
—My best poems are letters that I have cried—
A poem is written
A letter is cried
A night can give birth
I have given birth and I have stolen things
—I have done a little of everything
But my best line…
Is a telegram

~Gloria Fuertes

I have never understood why it makes them so angry that somewhere, two people might be happy.