Sigh

So, you've picked up a drunken frat boy. Classy. I understand that now you would like to have sex with said charming gentlemen. Fabulous.

Here's a list of places where you have my permission to do so:

1. The middle of the green
2. The stacks in the library (happens more often than you'd think)
3. The dining hall
4. The roof
5. The basement
6. The laundry room
7. The woods
8. The lawn of the dean's house (bonus points)
9. Mars
10. The construction scaffolding
11. Suspended from said scaffolding by bungee cords (double points)
12. Underground
13. Underwater
14. In a tree
15. In a taxi
16. In a chartered jet
17. Your own freaking room

Here's a list of the places where I would really prefer you didn't:
1. The part of the hallway that is directly outside of my door


It's the small considerations, people, really.