Dearth of posts

Attempting.

To Break. Caffeine.

Addiction.


Be with you. After. I'm dead.


/Is the coffee worth it? After all, at a point when you give into dependence, it stops affecting you and you need, need it to wake up. And there is nothing sadder or more pathetic than the bleary-eyed stumbling pre-coffee addict, and she is so the definition of pretty freaking miserable.

But if she survives and actually gets to the coffee--it is completely worth it energy sunshine speed rainbows i can conquer the universe level of worth it.

It's a guarantee of at least one triumphant period during the day, I suppose.

//Why are you hitting your head against the wall? It feels good when I stop!

This is not a test

I met Patrick Stewart.

That is all.

/that is SO not all, but I've temporarily lost all cognitive ability as a result.
///asdijwe piou asdklf z s aio diou adf sa ajkl a dfs ioweiuo ewr iuoerw iou er wjkl dfs ljk fd ajkl klfds jkl dfs a jkldfs aj klf ds

Good Morning!

Hello everyone! You may notice that several recent posts have been edited or simply disappeared all together. This is a feeble attempt to project some measure of sanity. Thanks!

/revisionist history is fun

*splort*

This so perfectly encapsulates my math final.

I am so studying

From a Fark thread on Starbucks:

I am a hipster douche bag, so I enjoy overpriced snobbish coffee.

However, being a hipster, I am thus a democrat and I hate evil corporations like Starbucks.

Thus whenever I walk by one i disappear into a self-contained paradox.

I am dying studying for exams

But honestly, what's the point? PEOPLE KEEP DOING SHIT LIKE THIS.

The problem

with academia IS THAT THE PAPERS ARE WRITTEN BY ACADEMICS.

Example: "This focus on boundary conditions serves to highlight the probability that economic integration does not always lead to pacific political relations. And given that the effect is not universal, if we are to have any ability to predict whether economic ties will have a pacific effect in a particular case--like the relationship across the Taiwan Strait--it becomes imperative to have a clear understanding of the microfoundations underlying any relationship that might exist between commerce and and conflict. In other words, simply knowing that strong economic ties are present in a particular case should not convince us that the liklihood of a military confrontation is therefore reduced in that case. Rather, it would be better to be able to observe whether or not the casual processes that link economic interdependence to a reduction in military violence are operating in that case. Existing studies have identified at least three-non mutually exclusive casual mechanisms through which economic interdependence can yield a reduced probability of military conflict."

That's a very impressive paragraph, Dr. Kastner. EXCEPT FOR THE PART WHERE IT TAKES TWENTY MINUTES TO UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.

This is what you said:
- Economic interdependence does not always promote peace.
- It does promote peace when three established conditions are met.
- Therefore, if you want to evaluate the effect of economic interdependence, you should focus on these specific conditions, not overall interdependence.

SO WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU JUST SAY IT THAT WAY? OH, BECAUSE THEN YOU DIDN'T GET TO USE THE WORD "MICROFOUNDATIONS." I AM GOING TO DRIVE TO MARYLAND TO SHOVE A COPY OF THIS PAPER UP YOUR LEFT NOSTRIL. THE END.

//I realize this blog used to be about things other than international relations/my obsession with professors thereof. I will attempt to return things to their previous state. Maybe tomorrow I'll take a nice spill headfirst down the stairs and we can go back to focusing on things like that.

Love, me

And then I decided it might not be a good idea to be posting people's real names all over the internet.

Hi internet!

Possibly even worth $400 an hour

"Is cooptation a word? Yes? No? Dammit, not again. I'll be standing up here [in front of the class], say something and think 'oh my God that's not a word.' So then I look around and if no one reacts, I just keep going. But sometimes, everyone stares back at me like 'what the hell? You just made up a word.' And I cringe, internally. And, ok, probably externally. Like that lovely speech I gave yesterday when I mixed up 'interdependence' and 'independence' approximately eleven thousand times. The English language is not fair."

Origins of the various bruises on my body

1. Knuckles, left: Towel on bar being used as foothold to facilitate top-bunk-exitage slipped off of bar, foot slipped with towel, law of gravity was upheld. Descending knuckles made abrupt contact with crown molding.

2. Hip, right: Shortly after above incident, side of body impacted the floor at high velocity.

3. Head, back of: While retrieving lost pencil, miscalculated distance between skull and underside of desk.

4. Knee, left: Slipped on ice cleverly disguised as bare sidewalk.

5. Knee, left, immediately below previous: Ice *remained* cleverly disguised as bare sidewalk on return trip. Lack of memory blamed on incident #3.

6. Dignity, the shred I have left: Damage likely permanent.

I wish

that I had come up with this.

Quote of the Day

"Caffeinegirl! We are not printing 'it's an erratically loading web page.'"

"Why not?"

"Because...I'm sane?"

"But I'm not!"

"I know, but one of us has to be!"

~The Grammar Goddess
and moi

Fuck you, IvyGate

No news today?

Oh you are so original, IvyGate. OMG Hanover = TEH BOONIES, LOL!!!TWELVE!!!!

I suggest you reword your link. How about "Kickass reporter who just pulled an all-nighter manages to write 400 eloquent words about nothing"?

Yeah. Let's go with that.

See?

Bad: You pull an all-nighter

Also Bad: Your prof pulls an all-nighter

Freaking awesome: Your prof gives a two-hour lecture completely cracked out on caffeine.

I should

print this out and mail it.

Noodles with sesame sauce can burn the inside of your nose.

/Regrettably, I did not achieve the big finish and actually snarf the noodle, so my level of coolness among 7th grade boys is not guaranteed.

According to the unofficial list circulated through DHS in 2006, there were 9 faculty members who were definitively smarter than the students.

Dartmouth College currently employs about 350 tenured or tenure-track professors.

I have yet to encounter one who is not a genius of frightening proportions

/I'll just cower in the back of the classroom, thanks.

To: Los Profesores

You have two options:

1. Stop assigning your own papers.

OR

2. WRITE SHORTER PAPERS.

Thanks!


/woman! 53 pages! SERIOUSLY.
//Fine, it's at least a coherent 53 pages and you used a SchoolHouse rock song last lecture to explain something. I forgive you.
///FOR NOW.

I. FUCKING. QUIT.

iiiiii gave up swearing for lent. THAT LASTED LONG. but SERIOUSLY. SERIOUSLY SEIROUSLY SERIOUSLY.

I AM FAILING ALL OF MY CLASSES. PARTLY BECAUSE I WORK FOR THE PAPER. and i GO to the paper like a good little paper-bitch and GET a story and GO to the event, which was A BORING SPEECH, FYI and WRITE about the event and spend SIX HOURS OF MY LIFE THERE AND AS I'M LEAVING, THEY CANCEL MY STORY.

COUDLNT' YOU HAVE CANCELED IT...OH...I DON'T KNOW...BEFORE I WROTE IT?

but of course, they couldn't, because there was late breaking news that pushed me off and that's not their fault so it's NOBODY'S FAULT WHICH MEANS I HAVE NO ONE TO BEAT UP AND THAT MAKES ME ANGRY. AND THAT WAS SIX HOURS DURING WHICH I COULD HAVE STUDIED.

AND i'm so fucking tired that i can't even WRITE COHERENTLY so this isn't even going to be AMUSING or anything WRITING NEWS IS KILLING MY ABILITY TO WRITE CREATIVELY AND IT'S ALSO EATING MY SOUL KTXBAI.

BUT. i will carry on. BECAUSE THERE ARE THINGS AND THEY PISS ME OFF.

LIKE PEOPLE WHO CURVE THEIR MIDTERMS SO THAT NUMERICALLY, YOU GET AN A, BUT ACTUALLY, YOU GET A B+. THAT IS NOT FAIR. you're supposed to curve up, not down! note that is not actually my grade, i've only seen the statistics, not my actual exam, BECAUSE I LEFT BEFORE SHE COULD GIVE ME MY MIDTERM, WHICH I'M SURE SHE NOTICED, BECAUSE, DUH SHE STILL HAS THE MIDTERM.

also yes this is the oft-quoted prof, so i can't just like, blame it on her being a bitch or something, because she isn't. damn.

and while we're on the subject, I often come off like A COMPLETE FUCKING IDIOT, so i'm afraid to talk in class, so i'm always really really really nervous/incoherent LIKE TODAY, when i used a phrase that i CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER because it had approximately seven hundred adverbs in a row, and she REPEATED IT, kind of like "riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight, ok, you're a spazz." which is unfair, because she's kind of a spazz. and then i DIED. it was tragic.

I HAVE TO GET UP IN 5.5 hours, fyi, BECAUSE I HAVE DRILL SO I CAN GO TO SPAIN, WHCIH I HATE. DRILL, NOT SPAIN. I HAVEN'T BEEN TO SPAIN, ERGO I CANNOT HATE IT. YET.

there was no reason for most of that to be in caps lock.

BUT THERE IS REASON FOR THIS TO BE IN CAPS LOCK. BECAUSE I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE who WALK OUT OF A MIDTERM, turn to you, and say "yeah, i totally rocked that test" BECAUSE THEN YOU STAB THEIR BRAINS. FUCK YOU. EVEN IF YOU TOTALLY ROCKED IT, I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING HEAR ABOUT IT TWO SECONDS AFTER I TOOK THE TEST. ALSO, YOU'RE A BITCH, and a large part of me really hopes that you did NOT indeed rock the test.

ANYWAY. i'm now contemplating whether i should make up some excuse for why i sort of slipped out of class before she could give me my midterm and then i can awkwardly blitz her being like HI I'M A COMPLETE NUTCASE, BUT YOU ALREADY KNEW THAT, BECAUSE YOU'VE MET ME FOR MORE THAN FIVE SECONDS.

I FAIL.