Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Never let your schooling interfere with your education

So, how do I describe my biology professor? Let's put it this way: you know Albert Einstein's hair? He is TOTALLY rocking the Einstein hair. Enough said.

Unfortunately, this means that instead of studying, I have been busy picking out choice phrases from his lecture notes.

A sampling:

These elements can be referred to by their chemical symbols. If we do this, we spell the English word CHNOPS, which, loosely defined, means "you have to memorize the chemical abbreviations for all the atoms. " Note especially how CHNOPS rolls right off your tongue.

This, of course, does not follow logically from the data, but you're going to have to trust me. Why? Because I have lots of letters after my name, that's why.

Atoms with empty orbitals are sad. But atoms that have their outermost orbitals filled are experiencing very happy and content circumstances.

Hydrogen bonds account for the unusual characteristics of water, which we will not discuss in in detail in lecture, except, obviously, to explain how water spiders work.

Regardless of what I said above, I well, kind of simplified things a bit. Ok, I outright lied. Sue me.

The pH scale goes from 0 to 14 for largely arbitrary reasons that I find too painful to discuss.

The pH of your blood is kept constant by the use of buffers, which are molecules that have the ability to take up and release protons, depending on certain characteristics into which we will not go. (Never end a sentence--or a lecture outline--with a preposition. Emoticons are perfectly ok :D )

I suppose it's kind of weird that I am obsessing over my science professor's use of language, but I suppose this is an indication that I am a gigantic biology nerd and should go be with my own kind.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think I like your biology professor. Anyone rocking the Einstein hair is automatically my friend. Unless they suck. Then no.

Anonymous said...

biology nerd! mwahahaha

Anonymous said...

i just remember mr. lewis going "n chops. like lamb chops, only even tastier!" and all of us being like O.o o.O he is a silly man.