Bristol, darling

Where, pray tell, is your baby? Hmmm? Because not only would I would hate for these nasty rumors to follow you and your charming mother around, I can't wait to see what you name the little bundle of joy.

/How about "Kumquat"? Kumquat Palin-Johnston. I like it.

Updated with perspective

I could be this guy.

or this guy.

Or a tragically emo blogger.

/oh shit

you owe me twenty four dollars for those pills

did i do something to you

is that why you broke my dreams