Thursday, February 26, 2009



The paper can be an extremely rewarding intellectual experience. You learn how to come up to speed on a complex subject quickly, conduct research in a real-time intelligence-style operational environment, adjudicate conflicting claims and theories, assess patterns of evidence, and render informed policy judgments and recommendations. All of these skills are very useful, and they are portable to other areas."

If you include this in the description of the horrific paper you have just assigned, it becomes legal for your students to kill you.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

This is logic on my planet

Oho. So I found out that you PREDICTED I would quit. Ohhhhh really. Guess what? YOU'RE STUCK WITH ME. FOREVER.

You are probably smarter and saner, but I am more stubborn.

Monday, February 23, 2009

It doesn't seem to have gotten away from you. Yet.

You are everything I am not. You paint your nails. You own pearls. You wear argyle non-ironically.

You study.

But we both know (pepperidgefarmwhitesandwichbreadequals65times2equals130)plus(3ozbakedturkey

Please. Please be careful.

Lord knows I am not.


I am never getting hired by anyone

Still full of inside jokes, but hopefully sounds less like a 13-year-old girl's Xanga than this thing does.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

How the fuck do I get into these situations?

I really need to quit my stupid, unpaid job.

But I need to talk to someone about it first.

My friend, the person I would go to to talk to about something like this, is my boss at the job.


Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Dear the Women and Gender Studies Department,

I wrote that as a joke.

Please don't give me an A.

It hurts me.

Thanks for the GPA boost,

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Google StreetView

just freaked me THE FUCK out.

Quería un bocadillo de tortilla de calabacín para llevar por favor.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Friday, February 06, 2009

Imagine you own a theme park. It's a very successful (albeit a tad tacky) park. It happens to contain Superman: Ride of Steel, which is the greatest roller coaster IN THE HISTORY OF TIME, and has won the Golden Ticket Awards (the Oscars of the Amusement Park Industry) for the last three years running.

What do you do with your lovely award-winning much-adored coaster?

Apparently YOU FUCK WITH IT.

Superman is NOT PURPLE. New trains CHANGE THE RIDE. And if you enclose the lift hill and add *fire oooh shiny stuff* I will personally hate you for the rest of my life.
Is this real life?

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Mis mejores poemes

My best poems
Were only read by one person
They are some silly cards
With much love inside
Spelling errors
And hints of longing

My best poems
Are not such, they are letters
That I write because this,
This I cannot speak
Because always he is far
Like everything good
Like everything that we value
Like god

Like the sea
I am from Casitilla and I have
A thistle for a soul
But I want to have an olive in my voice
I am from dry Castilla
I am Spanish earth
But I want to have my love in my love
It is almost funny to say this, LOVE, at this late time
LOVE in this era of companies and committees,
But I say LOVE LOVE I know what I say
—My best poems are letters that I have cried—
A poem is written
A letter is cried
A night can give birth
I have given birth and I have stolen things
—I have done a little of everything
But my best line…
Is a telegram

~Gloria Fuertes
I have never understood why it makes them so angry that somewhere, two people might be happy.