Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Things That Have Been Known To Bother Me, Part Eighty-Five Qunitillion and Two

1. When the snow unexpectedly turns to rain and causes large, gigantic puddles. Fun Fact: stepping in said puddles while wearing Uggs WILL CAUSE THE DYE TO LEACH ONTO YOUR SKIN. I look like the victim of some kind of horrific tanning accident.

2. PUDDLES THAT FREEZE. And are that kind of black ice that look very much like it isn't there. It appears that I am quite talented at FINDING this hidden ice, especially while running at top speed to my 7:30am class.

That said, if there was a campus record for DISTANCE one slid on the ice after falling in a graceless screaming heap of SCHWOMP, I would totally own it.

3. Professors who A) Hold class at 7:30am, B) Pride themselves on NEVER canceling class C) especially if it snowed 16 inches the night before.

4. Professors who CANCEL CLASS. This is why I have no blog content--she went off somewhere to present a paper. The NERVE of some people, being all academic and famous--I NEED QUOTES.

5. Candidates I support dropping out of the primaries, which leads to

6. Accidentally voting for Hillary Clinton.

7. Disagreeing with every candidate currently involved and deciding that the only solution is to move to Barbados, but having drastic lack of plane ticket funding.

There is always more, but #8. PEOPLE WHO THINK IT IS TOTALLY REASONABLE TO ASSIGN THE ENTIRETY OF Leviathan in ONE NIGHT are preventing me from finishing.


Sadie said...

You forgot to mention English Teachers.

Fun Fact about Hillary Clinton: she's endorsed by strippers. Yep. And I'm not talking about lovely Dita Von Teese burlesque artist types. I'm talking the kind that change their names to Krystal.

Sadie said...

also i did not know quintillion was a word.

hey guess what i'm working on this play in which i have to play a mathematical genius. WHAT PART OF ME LOOKS REMOTELY ADEPT AT MATH??


You mean Amber. Amber is totally a stripper's name. Hey, at least you don't have profs who are going out of town and instead of canceling class, ask the class to hold class and have a secretary updating him during class time with emails. FUN FUN FUN!

Abby said...

i entitled my paper on the leviathan "godzilla for president."

Sazarini said...

hahahahahaha. i wish i could've seen the slide... :D

but now you can go skiing in your oh-so-copious amounts of free time!

Steph said...

i can haz cheezburger??

Evey Carton said...

nnnooooooooo!!!!! Not Hill-a-bitch!!!!!


why do you need quotes in order to write a blog post? your life is interesting enough already!

and in response to #7- sell your kidney for plane ticket funding. that's why you have 2 of them