Sunday, November 04, 2007

If g = 9.8, G = 6.67E-11

In terms of the whole gravity situation: let's imagine me desperately clutching the tip of the South Pole. Back on the Earth but JUST BARELY.

(Nerd sidebar: I chose South Pole for the visually imagery because it's the "bottom" but let's all pretend we're smart and know that since acceleration due to gravity is towards the CENTER of the earth, it could just as easily be the North Pole. Or an island in the south Pacific. Actually, let's go with the island.)

Anyway, being on the Earth means I HAVE A BIOLOGY TEST. Fuck. And unfortunately, my Biology Professor Formerly Known As Awesome is really emphasizing the "Formerly" part. He is THIIIIIIS close to getting a nickname like "Biology Professor Who I Hate With The Seething, Burning, White-Hot Intensity That Up Until This Point Has Been Reserved Only For People Who Teach English." (No, not you, duh. Hi.)

Fortunately for him, his one redeeming quality is still going strong. Despite his habit of asking questions on the test that were not covered in lecture or the textbook, despite his insistence on explaining an A-B-C sequence by only talking about A and C, and despite his choice to hold EVERY DAMN "OPTIONAL" x-hour at 8:30 in the morning, he is still good for quotes like this:

"Histones don't completely prevent digenstion of DNA by nucleases, but they do retard it significantly. It's kind of like forcing someone to eat a ham sandwich while squished up against their car--they can do it, just not very efficiently. Also, mustard will totally ruin your paint job. Note use of italics on 'totally.' Hmm, maybe I should have italicized 'significantly' also."

This is all that is standing between him and CAFFEINE GIRL'S ONE THOUSAND YEARS OF (non-violent) PAAAAAAAIIIIIIN. And believe me, if it happens, you'll read about it in the newspaper. Pretend you don't know me.

1 comment:

Leina said...

you totally stole that from gaijin smash...