Friday, November 23, 2007

Why I should so be allowed to bitch-slap people

*studiously avoiding making this person too identifiable*

Which is really no great challenge BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL THE SAME ANYWAY. Pre. Med. Men.

Think of every single good-looking, confident, white bread, upper-class ASSHOLE doctor on a bad daytime drama. Some stereotypes are based in fact.

Anyway, sometimes, you major in Political Science, to get away from them. Which is a huge shock, because sometimes, you, when you take Political Science, you have professors who are actually human beings instead of vengeful, brooding automatons that HATCHED in a CAVE somewhere and awoke to fulfill their lifelong missions of MAKING PEOPLE MISERABLE. Plus, if you study really hard for an international relations class, and do all the reading, and make a scarily-obessive-compulsive study actually DO WELL on the test. I know, right?

Sadly, sometimes the GODDAMN PRE-MED-MALES figure this out and ALSO take political science. And then you have amazing conversations like this:

[Background: My IR prof is totally kickass, has an actual sense of humor, and, unlike many of her colleagues, writes CLEAR and SUCCINCT papers. (Alexander Wendt, I'm looking at you.) She also happens to be married to another professor in the department. Which, as I have mentioned, is really not that uncommon around here in the boonies.]

Anyway. The scene: Walking out of class. The protagonist: yours truly. The antagonist: Duh. Italics are sarcastic comments that were only said in my head. I hope.

Mr. About To Be Kicked In A Sensitive Area: "I don't know, I'm just not overly impressed with her research. Because I'm such an established scholar in the field, of course, and I'm drawing on the esteemed wisdom that comes with my NINETEEN years of age. It's sort of irrelevant and subjective--you could easily reinterpret the data and come to a different conclusion. This never happens in scholarly research. At all."

Your Fearless Blogger: "Well, I thought that maybe the stuff about *A very unspecified country* seemed cred-"

Mr. About To Be Kicked In A Sensitive Area: "I'm cutting you off because I was too busy admiring my reflection in that window to realize that you were talking, and you know she was only appointed because her husband has tenure?"

Your Fearless Blogger: "Are you INVITING me to kick your ass? Oh come ON, that rumor circulates about half the female professors...would you say that if the genders were reversed?"

Mr. About To Be Kicked In A Sensitive Area: "You know, probably not. That's just how I think. And I am now, in the Ultimate Asshole Move, admitting that I am an asshole. And being proud of it. Shame on me, right? *Smiles, thinks he's hotter than he actually is*

Your Fearless Blogger: "Oh, I have to print something so let me head for the library before I fly to California and steal a certain person's Awesome Hulk Hands Of Power.

Can I borrow the Hulk Hands? He really, really , needs to be Smashed.


Leina said...

your story reminds me of this extremely geeky/annoying senior girl who lives on my floor (think of THAT GIRL WE HATE x 10..i hope you caught that girl we hate part...) she likes to talk about everything to everyone and thinks she is a genius. for example (conversation overheard at the utica was something about how our history dept has no classes on south america and it's the only continent they dont' have history classes on)
Guy who is really annoyed by girl and completely joking: but what about antarctica?
Girl (completely serious): well, i'm not sure if you know this, but antarctica is the only continent that has never been inhabited by a civilization...
Guy (still joking): but what about the penguins??
Girl (gives guy a pity look): unfortunately, civilizations only apply to human beings and penguins are not human beings. if that were the case...
and i just zoned off after that

Sayuri said...

YES! you may borrow my hulk hands of power. your asshole's comments sort of remind me of a certain person i know who was commenting on how women can't use computers or something...but i think your asshole is worse, because he's totally thinking he's cute and cool because he is an asshole.