Saturday, January 06, 2007

Someone is writing my life

Seriously. It sometimes reads like a fucking movie script.

So, I need to buy snow boots. Yes, NEED. It is snowy and then melty and muddy and my LAST boot purchase (Uggs, consumer whore, shame, etc.) is just not cutting it. Also, I'm not broke enough.

Now, I began looking for a pair of boots online without any assistence from my roommates, and I THOUGHT that I had found a perfectly cute pair. However, if it were not for the interventin of said roommates, I would go out every day in neon green gaucho overalls with plaid-and-striped taffeta trim, so I decided to show them the boots before I actually spent money on them. The Awesome Roommate wasn't around at the time, but fortunately Everyone's All-Purpose Gay Boyfriend was. And he informed me that the waterproof-but-still-cute boots were "ghetto."

Now, I'm working from a limited perspecitive here, but these boots? Not ghetto. No excessive fur trim, heel height, or bling of any kind. (Yes, I'm white and I said bling. RELAX.)

Everyone's All-Purpose Gay Boyfriend listened to me, but then he explained patiently that the boots were made by Timberland, and thus automatically unacceptable.

I, in my infinite experience, had never heard of Timberland, and since I have this slight tendency to argue, I scoffed at him. I did get him to admit that there was nothing intrinsically wrong with the boots except for the fact that they said Timberland on the side, but apparently, that was enough.

At this point, The Awesome Roommate entered. She was, incidentally, drunk off her ass, because she is talented at every sport except for pong. Unfortuantely for my arguement, when Gay Boyfriend asked her to confirm that Timberland = ghetto, her zealousness in affirming that point made her momentarily coherent. Dammit.

So I'm losing. Timberland, is, apparently, ghetto. I, having latent feminazi/weirdly liberal tendencies, start to go on a rant about the fashion industry, slavery to designer recognition, death of society, etc. I was mercifully interrupted by the Extremely Chill Guy walking in.

I pounced. He's very laid back and very typically masculinely clueless about fashion. Surely, I thought, surely I could score a point in the discussion here by proving that not EVERYONE has the same negative connotations regarding Timberland.

"Extremely Chill Guy," I asked sweetly, "Is Timberland ghetto?"

There was tragically instant recognition in his eyes. "Oh yeah," he responded enthusiastically, "it's pretty ghetto." He paused.

"Especially if you get the boots."

I appreciate that it was a perfect way for me to just get completely OWNED, but seriously. Scriptwriters? If you sell this thing, I want a share fo the profits.

5 comments:

Leina said...

There's nothing wrong with owning ghetto boots! Especially if they actually WORK because most people at my school are like SCREW CUTE! I NEED HIKING BOOTS TO SURVIVE THE SNOW! And how could you NOT have heard of Timberland? I HAVE HEARD OF TIMBERLAND!! SAD LITTLE ASIAN GIRL WHO IS NEITHER LITTLE NOR ACTUALLY ASIAN HAS HEARD OF TIMBERLAND! And I knew they were ghetto.

Sadie said...

it took me a long time to realize that timberland makes clothes and timbaland (notice difference) follows justin timberlake (too many timbers!) around saying "YEAH" every time justin says he's bringing sexyback.

(i want timbaland's job)

Sayuri said...

hahahaha! i've heard of it too, although i also wasn't aware that it was "ghetto" so maybe i'm even worse off than you were. BUT IT'S ALL GOOD! because psh, no need for snow boots! bwahaha.

but anyway! so what boots DID you end up getting?

sayuri said...

and i just totally looked up "timberland" on urbandictionary.com after i made that last comment. and there are many references to the boots!

Anonymous said...

yup...that's a good one! my life's far too lame for the movies...so i think ill submit a piece here..

background info:
30 minutes after making love with the guy my sister hates. and, incidentally, the guy i had broken up with five hours before said amazing sex

location: my oblivious mother's car

script:
sis: so why are you sweaty
me: i just went for a run
sis:with (guy i wasnt dating)?
me: yea. but don't give me a hard time about it.

sis: i thought you guys had finally broken up?!!?!?!?
me: we're just friends now. leave us alone.

sis: friends don't fuck.